Mondays With Mattea — Why Reflection is Key During The Holidays

The holidays can be a tricky time when you’re in recovery. Trust me, I get it! When your recovery is new, you’ll suddenly find yourself flooded with emotions, memories and people that surround the season, and it isn’t always positive. 

But with an attitude of reflection and willingness to ask yourself some tough questions, you can make it through this time of year experiencing more joy than before, because it starts within you. And better yet, when you make reflection your priority as the year closes out, you’ll go into the New Year with a renewed mind, filled with inspiration and hope — because that’s what recovery brings to life. 

 As you get ready for a week of Holiday celebration, here’s a way to make reflection your focus: 

1. Check your mindset.
   As cliche as it might seem if you’ve been in the recovery community for a while, gratitude really is the key to overcoming a ‘stuck’ mentality. It can be easy to let negativity, bitterness or resentment overtake your thinking during a triggering time like the holidays, and when it happens, gratitude has a way of bringing you back to center. 
   
   With gratitude, it suddenly becomes more difficult to think of what’s going wrong in your life when you stay focused on the things that are going well — a new life, reconciled relationships, new, healthy friends. I’m hoping (and confident!) that your list goes on and on, just like mine does.
   

2. Reflect on your kindness and compassion.
   Living in service to others is a core principle of recovery — and a great way to live. As another year comes to a close, spend time reflecting on the ways you’ve given back to others this year. Have you spent enough time volunteering? Have you invested in helping others find recovery? Were you kind and compassionate towards the people in your life?
   
   What I’ve learned, and what you’ll hopefully learn too, is that giving back and being kind are two ways to keep our recovery strong. These things keep us grounded, give us perspective and make a difference in the lives of those around us. It’s worth it, and you can start this week and continue all through the New Year.
   

3. Review your goals.
   It’s more than checking off whether or not you met your goals, but whether or not you tried your hardest to meet them. It’s about intention. What can you learn going into next year? How can you adjust your attitude and actions to make sure this year brings you the things you’re striving for? 
   
   As you review your goals, self-awareness is key. What stood in your way this year? Whether you need to overcome barriers through therapy, better friendships or simple things like making lists and staying organized, you can only start if you know what you’re working with. So sit down, get honest, and make a plan (see next step)!
   

4. Make a plan.
   Every few months, I write a list to see what my current and future goals are and decide on a plan to attain them. The best way to meet your goal is to determine how and what you’re going to do to make your goal a reality. As it is with everything in our lives, we often need to start small. Don’t set yourself up for failure; instead, chip away at your goals one day at a time (a lesson you can learn from your recovery!) and you’ll be amazed at the progress you’ll start to see. 

These are a few ways I’ll be reflecting this holiday season, but there are certainly more things you can evaluate: financial health, physical health, spirituality, friendships, etc. Make the last few days of the year count with honesty and intention and grateful reflection on all the ways recovery has transformed your life. Happy New Year!